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Hi Boys

2009-06-18T02:16:00.003+08:00

I have a very important announcement to make.

guess whose blog revived

and for my very first post since the rebirth of my blog....

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=I4FceeQJNbWKAhgL3oxjPA_3d_3d

my very own pw survey.

...
......
...........

okay time to go back to studying for mid years

i hereby shut down my blog again.

2009-03-08T22:28:00.000+08:00

ah well.

Good Engrish Day

2009-02-10T20:58:00.004+08:00

Yea.

for some reason, my blogcounter's still moving even though i havent posted in ages.

Most Sincerest apologies, but my lack of inspiration to blog hasn't come causelessly:

firstly, every single waking moment of the past week has been spent orientating myself to a place i've been stuck in for four years.

exciting eh?

secondly, (at one point) i might have had the urge to post, but it was brutally crushed following an enjoyable and thrilling orientation game called:

~~Rape, Humiliate, Brutalize, Analyze, Penalize~~ Strip Me If You Can

imagine sungming being replaced by 6 pairs of hungry, enraged, brutal, savage, CAVEWOMEN

Further explanation required?

Why?

BECAUSE THEY'RE HERE IN RJ, STUPID.

On a more cheerful note...

ADVERTISEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!

SINGLE, ELIGIBLE, HANDSOME YOUNG MALE SEEKS FEMALE COMPANY FOR 15TH FEBRUARY.
Terms and conditions apply. 5 course Pizza Hut meal not included.
Applicants required to have a big appetite and enjoy bearhugs.

yeh.

News @ 69

2009-01-28T20:49:00.015+08:00

Hello and welcome to.....

And to begin with, lets start off with...

WORLD NEWS

Amongst other Matters of Grave Importance:

Iran demands an apology from the US over war crimes; Scientists warn effects of global warming could last 1000 years; Global Economic Recession causes loss of 90,000 jobs worldwide; Robinho arrested for sexual assault.

And of course, we go first to the most important issue...

Manchester City and Brazil striker Robinho has been arrested over allegations of a serious sexual assault in a British nightclub, police and his spokesman said Wednesday.

The spokesman for 25-year-old Robinho, Britain's most expensive player, said he "strenuously denied" the allegations.

The spokesman for the rape victim, a student who cannot be named here for protection of identity, said she "strenously denied" Robinho's attempts.

However, alleged police, the strenous denial of one person was unable to deny the strenous advances of another.

Earlier this month Robinho walked out of the team's training camp in Tenerife and headed for Brazil, citing an "important family matter", but returned to Manchester on Sunday.

The victim now claims that the "important family matter" Robinho referred to was, namely, the task of starting a family.

Robinho: "Oops..."

Elsewhere...

LOCAL NEWS

A couple treated open air diners to a 15-minute naked parade in Singapore, triggering both embarrassment and applause for a scene almost unheard of in the conservative city-state.

Pub manager Terence Chia told the Straits Times newspaper he saw the couple taking off their clothes on Saturday night at a staircase in a block of flats in Holland Village, known for its popular nightspots.

"Then, clothes in hand, they coolly walked towards the market," he said, adding when the couple did a U-turn a sea of spectators was ready and poised with cameras.

Protests are rare in Singapore and only made legal last year in a designated area called "Speakers' Corner", modelled on London's Hyde Park.

"They looked really comfortable walking down the street, which led to many curious stares," wrote blogger Leonard Tan. "Singapore is getting more and more exciting."

Reported picture of the couple, with clothes (still) on.

In other local news....

Facebook reported a website crash following an extreme surge in activity centered around a certain user in a relationship.

Sources report that following an annoucement that:

Zewei Lincoln Chen is now in a relationship. - Comment

Show 32 more comments...

The aforementioned user's profile page was simultaneously accessed by millions of people from Singapore and worldwide.

Exceeding sorrow was felt that one of the world's suavest and handsome(est) men had now become unavailable for the taking.

Amongst other comments from aggrieved members of the public:

Sean Yap at 4:51pm January 26
lol?

Ian Tan Yen How at 6:13pm January 26
o.O are u serious?!

Jaren Chong at 10:53pm January 26
LOL OMFG ZIWEI!

Bryan Koh at 10:54pm January 26
The girl damn lucky.

Bryan Koh at 11:36pm January 26
zewei, i love you.

Gerald Ong at 11:58pm January 26
lmao

Ng Wei Shen at 12:19am January 27
OMG ZEWEI I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I LURB YOU WORHXXXXXXXXX. YOU ARE THE HOTTEST GUY ON FB. WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO. CAN I MARRY YOU, AND MARK, AND BRYAN!

Bryan Koh at 1.32 am January 26

The girl damn lucky.

In a valiant attempt to placate the numerous people who have expressed their anguish at failing to hook up with him,

Zewei Lincoln Chen at 11:19pm January 26
hmm, weird. how come it got missed out? interesting. it doesn't allow me to type it. anyway, it's supposed to be "Zewei is listed as in a relationship with God"! *muhahas.* anyway, sorry for blowing you people out of your minds!(:

Responses from the public were varied, ranging from the unconvinced...

Bryan Koh at 11:27pm January 26
The girl damn lucky.

...to those eager to propose themselves...

Maximillian Viera at 11:00pm January 27
♥

...to the plain schizophrenic.

Ng Wei Shen at 7:23pm January 28
OMG. I HAVE A SAME WEI AS ZEWEI♥ SHIT IM COOL.hahahahahahah omg im so cool. im WEIshen. my shen useless la. but my WEI is so cool. so..... CHENshaowei is cool too :Oomg zewei ♥ ♥

And now, its time for our most exciting section on...

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS

08:32 ET Dow , Nasdaq , S&P : [BRIEFING.COM] S&P futures vs fair value: +19.10. Nasdaq futures vs fair value: +21.80. Stock futures continue pointing to a strong start for the major U.S. indices as banks and financial companies attract buyers ahead of the opening bell. The interest in financial companies stems from word the government may be making plans to help banks dump their toxic assets. Wells Fargo (WFC) posted a fourth quarter loss of $0.74 per share, or earnings of $0.41 per share after excluding all significant items. Wall Street was looking for $0.33 per share. Wells Fargo indicated it is maintaining its dividend and has no plans to ask for additional TARP capital. Shares of WFC are trading more than 20% higher at $19.60 per share in premarket trading. Financial services outfits in Europe are leading gains in the major European indices. France's CAC is currently up 3.4% with help from BNP Paribas, Societe Generale, and AXA. HSBC (HSB) Lloyds, and Barclays (BCS) are helping drive Britain's FTSE 2.4% higher. Meanwhile, Germany's DAX is up 3.8% amid strength in Allianz and Deutsche Bank (DB). In Asia, the MSCI Asia-Pacific Index closed 0.8% higher. Japan's Nikkei closed with a 0.6% gain semiconductor chip stocks were helped by word Germany's Qimonda filed for insolvency. Advantest (ATE) gained 5.0% amid the news. However, Advantest posted its fourth straight quarterly loss. Banks extended gains made in the prior session, which initially stemmed from word the Japanese government will use public funds to support nonfinancial companies, thereby reducing the risk of bad loans. Mitsubishi UFJ Financial (MTU) gained 1.2%, while Mizuho Financial (MFG) gained 1.3%. Nomura Holdings, Japan's largest brokerage, fell 2.2% after posting a record $3.8 billion quarterly loss, though. Markets in China remain closed for holiday observance. Nasdaq at... NYSE Adv/Dec 0/0... Nasdaq Adv/Dec 0/0

had fun?

Now, for all you testosterone filled guys out there...

Good news!

We (I) at blogspotblogspotblogspotblogpots (f**k this is getting tiring)

strive to bring you the very best in sporting news each day!

SPORTS NEWS

Early this morning, Manchester United beat a 10-man West Bromwich Albion to open up a three point lead at the top of the Barclays Premier League table.

Dimitar Berbatov , Carlos Tevez, Nemanja Vidic, and Cristiano Ronaldo all got on the scoresheet, with Ronaldo finding the net twice as United banged 5 goals in succession past a hapless West Brom.

Undoubtedly the highlight of the night though, was a stunning freekick by Ronaldo, a rocket blasted from 45 metres out that wickedly swerved left, right, and into the top corner.

After the match, Ronaldo commented that this might possibly rank as the best free kick he has ever taken.

Enjoy the live replay posted below, courtesy of ESPN!

Please leave a tag if you are satisfied with News @ 69.

2009-01-28T00:30:00.000+08:00

i was going to post but then i discovered viwawa bridge.

Pubic Announcement

2009-01-20T20:37:00.003+08:00

EVERYONE CLICK MY inkheart AD NOW

<-----------------------------------------------

WHO DUN CLICK

HAVE BREAST CANCER

This is not a blog quiz

2009-01-18T17:21:00.007+08:00

today...i venture into the land of

blogquiz wtf

for the very first time!

Use the first letter of your FIRST name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, things... nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same first initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.

Tag 5 people to do this hard but fun survey.

The 5 people that you are going to tag:

do i even know 5 bloggers at all?

1.Famous artist/band/musician-

~~my chemical romance~~ MADONNA!

2.Five letter word-

MOOBS.

Yea.

3.US state-

minnesota.

4.Boy name-

matthew?

5.Girl name-

matthelle?

Mary.

6.Occupation-

MANWHORE

7.Something that you wear-

minibriefs?

8.Celebrity-

miley cyrus rofl.

9.Something found in the kitchen-

milk?

10.Reason for being late-

Ah.

My car got stuck in the traffic.

bus got stuck in the traffic.
bike got stuck in the traffic.

ass got stuck in the traffic.

11.Something that you shout-

MOTHERF***R

12.Body part-

have we not covered this already?

just to refresh your memory:

MOOBS.

01. What have you been doing recently?

nothing.

Really.

02.Do you ever turn your cellphone off?

nope.

03. What happened at 10.00am today?

Shit happened.

04. When did you last cry?

when daniel cousin scored last night.

05. Believe in fate/destiny?

whatever.

06. What do you want in your life right now?

nothing.

07. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?

umbrella duh.

do i look like a nigger or a bangla???

HOOD WTF

08. What's your favourite thing to have on your bed?

a pillow d'oh.

09. What bottom are you wearing now?

shorts?

10. What's the nicest text in your inbox say?

Your little brother will always stand‏
From:
snamthgi2007@Reggaezion.com
Sent:
16 January 2009 22: 12PM
To:
yyx4j@hotmail.com

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?

nope

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?

nope

13. What was the last movie you caught?

the transporter 3

14. What are you proud of?

being the only guy who hasn't ~~turned gay~~ watched twilight yet

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?

pheb:

My pb reese :(

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?

NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP

17.Do you have any nicknames?

SCREW THIS FROM NOW I'M SKIPPING ALL THE BULLSHIT QUESTIONS

18. What does your last received text message say?

Hahah whatever up to you then!

so far so good, its been two weeks since I

last ate fast food.

19. What time did you go to bed last night?

330am

20. Are you currently happy?

i was very happy until i started doing a blogquiz.

21. Who gives you best advice?

Askjeeves.com

~~22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?~~

23. Who did you talk on phone last night?

didnt.

24. Is anything bugging you right now?

a certain blogquiz

25. What/who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?

cant remember

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?

pheb

28. Have you ever had your heartbroken?

duh

29. What annoys you most in a person?

small penis size

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?

31. Have you ever done cocaine?

wtf

32. What is the colour of your room?

white

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?

A BILLION DOLLAR WTF
why do blogquizzes have such screwed up grammar?

HUH?!?!?

34. Do you believe in the saying : talk is cheap?

yea whatever

35. Who was the last person to lie in your bed?

me duhrofllmaowtf?

36. Who was the last person to hug you?

pheb

37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?

?????????

38. Do you have a life?

..................

i used to have one, until i started doing blogquizzes

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didn't die?

yea, i once thought i died, only that i didn't really die, and because i died i thought that being dead, i couldnt possibly die a death, but in face i was not dead, and hence i couldn't have thought that i died, when i didn't really die, but i thought i died.

40. What is the reason behind your profile song?

MY BLOGSONG WTFWTFWTF

SCREW YOU YOU DUMBSHIT

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?

i dont dream

42. Last time you smiled?

after nasri scored last night

43. Have you changed this year?

yes

i just changed into new underwear, shirt, and shorts after my last bath
which happened sometime this year, i think

44. What are you listening right now?

my blogsong

45. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?

.......................

47. Is there a quote you live by?

48. Do you want someone you cannot have?

49. Have you ever played an instrument?

yes

50. What was the worst idea you've had in this week?

the idea that blogquizzes might somehow be entertaining.....

51. What are you doing last night at 11pm?

I were learning my grammars and how to differentiate between 'are' and 'were'

52. (missing question)

53. What song best describe your love life?

see above, ie. question 40.

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?

duh?

55. Who always make you laugh?

Dumbfucks withs shit grammar always makes me laughs

56. Do you speak other language other than English?

yes

57. Favourite website(s)?

WWW.FREEHOTPICSFORKIDS.COM

58. What's your middle name?

yao?

59. What are you doing tomorrow?

school

60. What do you think you are like?

bored

61. Who will you choose to die with?

DO YOU THINK I'M STILL IN THE MOOD FOR ROMANTIC QUESTIONS??????

62. Where have you been today?

HOME

63. What game do you play often?

~~DOTA~~ minesweeper

64. Who are you missing right now?

dont know

65. If you have to choose between friend and love, who will you choose?

重色轻友

66. What are you doing right now?

typing and typing and typing

67. Which primary school are you from?

bukitview and nanhua

68. Name 3 colours that you like?

maroon black brown

69. What emoticon do you like to show?

8======================================================D

70. What is your life to you?

bored

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?

emo

72. Who did you last chat in msn today?

Inadequate jingwen, and
ZENNON I cut my hair =(

73. Who do you admire most?

see question 8

74. Which month are you born in?

february

75. How are you feeling right now?

see question 70

76. What is the time now?

637pm

77. What kind of person do u think the one who tagged you is?

absolutely wonderfully terrifically totally completely miraculously extremely

SCREWED UP

78.What colour did you use to dye hair?

goodboysdontdyehair

79. Why are you doing this test?

nothing to do wtf

80. What do you do when you're moody?

emoandguitar

AND DOTA

81. At which age you wish to get married?

81.

82. Who is most important to you?

See questions 15, 36, and 29

83. If today is the last day of your life, what will you do?

i definitely wont do a blogquiz

84.(missing question)

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?

whatever

86. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?

idk

87. What is your goal for this year?

idk

88. Do you believe in eternal love?

maybe

89. What feeling do you love most?

i love the feeling of coming to the end of a fked up blogquiz

90. Do you really think Global Warming is happening now?

yes

91. What feeling do you hate most?

see question 29.

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?

depends

93. Do you believe in God?

yes

94. Who cares for you most?

idk

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?

See questions 29 and 36.

96. What will you bring when you fight?

my running shoes

for running

97. What have you done regretted doing in your whole life?

ehehehhe.

THIS FUCKING BLOGQUIZ DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

98. What would you feel if no one no longer cares for you?

bored

99.(missing question)

100. How do you feel now?

see question 98 and 97

Great Accomplishments

2009-01-18T01:35:00.006+08:00

First of all, I'd like to thank my grandmother, her grandmother, my aunt's nephew's cousin's sister's son, and Lee "Hi Harry Lee. I Love You" Kuan Yew,

all of whom this would never have been possible without.

Credit for my great accomplishment here also goes out to a number of other notable figures,

including my mother who gave birth to me,

my father who made my mother give birth to me,

and the hair-lice-eating maid who dropped me headfirst on the floor at the age of 3

screwing up my sexual orientation.

I'd also like to thank every single one of you who read my blog,

and accompanied it through its various milestones.

my first tagboard

first google ad

first blogsong

FIRST PONYO SOUNDTRACK

speaking about google ads...

once upon a time, this blog was founded in a fit of schizophrenia

and Google recommended the services of a psychiatrist to my readers.

BUT-

a new era is upon us!

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I give you....

an epic feat of mastery and triumph

GOOGLE HAS BEEN BENT TO MY WILL

Gay Singapore
Web 2.0 gay social network for Singapore and the world!
gays.com

2009-01-17T00:45:00.002+08:00

i have nothing to say today.

school sucks life sucks everything sucks ah.

i was trying to find an emo song to put as my blogsong,

because emo shit > rick astley.

but i forgot one thing......

D_ TA > EMO SHIT LOLZ

would you like to buy a vowel?

Social Networks

2009-01-15T22:38:00.002+08:00

报章报导:

i was feeling too lazy to blog today.

BUT
opening my email changed my mind.

OMGROFLWTFBBQLOLZLMAO

In reflection, i have learned two things i never knew from checking my email inbox today.

One, that my social network has apparently expanded to include people i never knew existed.

Two,

that Dick is actually NOT a name, but a surname.

-posted by Mark Dick at 10.50 pm.

Rick Astley

2009-01-14T20:54:00.004+08:00

Most of you know by now what this post is going to be about.

If you don't, may I kindly redirect you to the last episode of...

BLOGSPOTBLOGSPOTBLOGSPOTBLOGPOTS

Specifically, to the EXCLUSIVE 小娘惹 BLOOPER SCENES .

Enjoyed the show?

It's the LATEST N COOLEST new trend on the internet, called

RICKROLLING YEH

for the benefit of those who have been living in a cave without sanitary sewage systems and INTERNET ACCESS....

Rickrolling is an Internet meme typically involving the music video for the 1987 Rick Astley song "Never Gonna Give You Up". The meme is a bait and switch: a person provides a Web link that he or she claims is relevant to the topic at hand, but the link actually takes the user to the Astley video. The URL can be masked or obfuscated in some manner so that the user cannot determine the true source of the link without clicking. When a person clicks on the link and is led to the web page, he or she is said to have been "Rickrolled" (also spelled Rickroll'd).

got it?

Some of you might be wondering why I spend my free time engaging in such idle pursuits instead of being a proper and productive member of society and spend my time in more fruitful ways such as ~~getting a job~~ DOTAing.

The unfortunate truth is,

I HATE RICKROLLING

and more precisely,

I HATE BEING RICKROLLED!!! ARRGGHHH HULK RICKROLLL HULK ANGRY HULK SMASHHH RAARARRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ya.

anyway, if i hate rick astley that much, why do i rickroll others?

HUH?!?!?!??!?!?

the truth is,

having gone through the agony

and torture

of having my online faith misplaced

and cruelly betrayed

i now feel compelled to share the pain around.

This is behaviour that I am very ashamed to admit to.

It is my deepest regret that, having received an education in one of Singapore's Finest Institutions, I have failed to reflect discipline and passion for learning, and regard individuals with kindness and respect, and in so doing uphold the Rafflesian Principle Of Honour.

It is thus with the deepest regret that I formally apologize to all my blog readers.

Especially those who may have been traumatised in one way or another by Obama's singing.

Henceforth, I will take up membership in a rehabilition programme for die-hard rickrolling addicts, otherwise known as:

RICKROLLERS ANONYMOUS

Taken from their website:

Rickrollers Anonymous is a non-profit organization dedicated to eradicating the cyberspace scourge commonly known as Rickrolling. With your help and mine, we can clean up the Internet together. Let's make the Web a better, rickroll-free place.

With every visitor to their site, the founders of Rickrollers Anonymous promise to scour the web for misguided links, until a Rickroll is found and subsequently eradicated.

So what are you waiting for? Visit here and help to kill off Rickrolling today!

NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN

养不教，父之过

2009-01-13T00:17:00.002+08:00

NO.

i am NOT blogging about o level results.
practically the whole world around me right now is ~~celebrating~~ weeping, moaning, and complaining

The following excerpts are fictional. Any resemblance whatsoever to any person or animal, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

"YOU SHOULD BE CHOPPING OFF YOUR BALLS, PUTTING IT IN A BOTTLE AND THROWING IT INTO THE LONGKANG"

-O Level candidate, 2008.

(of course he's in australia now and doesn't have to give a shit but STILL)

"冰冻三尺，非一日之寒”
“无风不起浪，事出必有因"

-Wise Words of Confucius

for the benefit of Most Of Us who have not attained A1s for chinese, here's the translation:
people who don;t study, don't pass, nubshit.

and because i have Not Studied, hence i expect Not to Pass.
I DONT NEED TO PASS I JUST NEED A D7 OMFG I DONT WANT TO DO CHINESE ARGHHHHHH

SHIT i should have just collected my results today and got it done and over with.

Example No. 2:
FACEBOOK!

***** **** DIDNT GET A1, i am so disappointed with myself. 35 minutes ago
wow.

i can so imagine my facebook already rofl-

Mark Yeo got E8 for his HMT Os and is currently in the toilet. 69 minutes ago

but fortunately...
my parents are going to be the least disappointed people on this planet should i fail
maybe i'll even be more disappointed with myself LOL
why?

Excerpt from Dinnertime Conversations In The Yeo Family:

Parent #1: So, how was chinese exam today?

Moi: Great.

Parent #1: Wa, so I expect you got at least an A2 ah...

Moi: D7.

Parent #2: Did you not study at all? Practice makes perfect, son. How can one expect to succeed in life without putting in effort? When I was your age, I was already helping out at my father's coffee shop. Serving tea, making coffee

Moi: Pass the chicken.

Ah well.
For everyone else still emotional, here's a little surprise to perk you up!
i was youtube surfing, and found:

EXCLUSIVE 小娘惹 BLOOPER SCENES LEAKED

hurry view before it gets taken off!!!!!

Blog Upgraded!

2009-01-09T01:25:00.005+08:00

Upon reading this, you should have noticed a revolutionary, new, groundbreaking change in my blog.

That's right, folks, yours truly has upgraded his blog!
and unless you are:

A. Gay

B. Below 6 years of age

C. DEAF.

at this very moment, you ought to have spoiled your mouse by now from desperately clicking at the exit button

Still have no idea what i'm talking about?

Thank your lucky stars for your goddamnshitlaginternet speed.

Sit back, relax, then wait.....

for my blogsong to load.

ARE YOU THERE YET?

Seriously, japan is one screwed up nation.

i mean, what the hell is a show like that doing in the cinemas

instead of being on like kids central free-to-air tv at 10.30 am?

but then again, this is a nation of people who eat chips like these:

Doritos = 复活 = stepping on one's testicles?

tasty chips, arent they.

How I Spent My Holidays Part 2 (or Holidays and Gays)

2009-01-06T23:26:00.005+08:00

i woke up this morning and had a reality check.

Now,

why did I have a reality check?

why did I wake up this morning?

why did I wake up?

WHY DO I GET ADS FOR SCHIZOPHRENIA ON MY BLOODY BLOG?!?!?

I AM NOT SCHIZOPHRENIC AT ALL GOOGLE DO YOU FKING GET IT

oh dearie me why am i being so vulgar? this is totally unlike me I AM NOT VULGAR! GET THIS - I AM NOT FKING VULGAR AND I DO NOT HAVE split personalities oh gosh! excuse me please, i am feeling so awfully moody

okay nvm just pretend everything above this line just doesnt exist pls.

there goes my attempt to change my blogads.

In light of the recent publishing of a literary masterpiece, an epic work superlatively surpassing the greatest works of Shakespeare, Homer, Plato, and jk rowling,

I have felt greatly inspired to follow up with:

THE OFFICIAL COMPANION GUIDE

The Dummy's Guide to Identifying a Fag!

or the BOY'S GUIDE TO GAYS

for the uninitiated...

http://t0mdickandharry.blogspot.com/

Having received wide and wild acclaim, some excerpts from the rave reviews follow below:

jiehao: dude your blog is becoming "the picture guide to faggots".

joel: wow david a guide to identifying fags, coming straight from the guy who was prodding a guy's dick at pek

Nigel Fong: Wonderful. It's David’s care - for the people, for the world, for the experiences - that turns "The Dummy's Guide to Identifying a Fag!" into something more than basic social study. This book is a eulogy for a lifestyle, equal parts mourning and celebration for what has passed. He is ambivalent on what will come next, but anyone who reads this will want to tap the energy he thrived on.

western auntie: i miss your sausage and its coleslaw david~

could send you a pic of me and my onion rings if you want <3

fag: woww dave you know us so well~~ <333

biq: im on season 5. is nice.

shiyin: gosh is this the general quality of guys (gays?) that awaits us in rj next year? not an exciting proposition definitely lol

lawis: ahh~~!ahh~!!大卫! 为什么还没来??? 真糟糕，我来了!!

biq: im on season 6. is nice.

Doreen Ang: David makes a stand well to a relative extent, but his persuasiveness might be well helped by a dose or two of Viagra.

lawis: i need a low bed too so my parents donnid fix the ceiling everytime i erect....

biq: im on season 7. is nice.

ANYWAY...

what new shocking secrets does my upcoming publication hold?

and will the events of my holidays...ever be revealed?

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF

blogspotblogspotblogspotblogpots.blogspot.com

surrender, they say.

2009-01-05T01:21:00.002+08:00

its so epiphantic.

Monumentous Events

2009-01-04T22:37:00.006+08:00

Firstly,
and honest survey of my blogreadership!

Question 1: Do you read my blog?

If yes, please click on my google ad, because anyone who actually reads this shit is schizophrenic enough to require psychiatric aid.

If no, please click on my ads twice, because you're obviously reading my blog now and any idiot like you deserves to see a psychiatrist.

Twice.

okay now i can begin prim and proper with my post!

saturdaychurchservicelotsofchangesisortamissoldservicebutanywaythenewoneisbetterandsomethingiswrongverywrongandiknowexactlywhatbutamichanging?

No
notyet
atleastnotsuccessfullyyet

And whats my post title about?

For the clueless, let me direct you to the little box on the screen's left, below the tagboard

BELOW THE TAGBOARD I KNOW ITS HARD TO TAKE YOUR EYES OF THE TAGBOARD COS DAVID'S ASKING YOU TO SHOW HIM YOU GENITALS BUT STILL-

its called an ad. Get it?
an Advertisement

and if you click on it, you'll be ushering me into a new chapter of my life
because for the very first time in my existence of 16 years
I WILL HAVE AN INCOME AND CEASE BEING AN ECONOMIC NONCONTRIBUTANT AND LIABILITY TO SOCIETY

Today's Earnings: $0.00
Total Earnings $0.00

nah i'm kidding.
the only reason i put ads is to see what Google thinks of my blog
and guess what they find relevant to my blogreadership?

Alternative Mental Health Care It will change your mind and life

and unless you've failed to fail to fail to neglect overlooking it, my blog has hit another milestone!
I GOT MUSIC ON MY BLOG WHOOYEA

currently playing: I Did It For You by David Cook
up next:

PONYO ON THE CLIFF BY THE SEA SOUNDTRACK OH YEAAA

and lastly, it is with much regret that i bid farewell to my long lover.
i will miss her tender caresses of my skin
the softness of her touch
the way we move as one
and the way i slip ever so smoothly into her, like.....

like a foot fits into a boot.

on the other hand (foot) , 旧的不去，新的不来.

Hence,

I hope we have a fruitful, passionate, and longlasting relationship.

untitled

2008-12-29T18:35:00.000+08:00

i've just been through my very first post-mission-trip day of complete idleness and life wasting!
congratulations me.

figured i was going to blog sometime today, just to relieve the boredom of being....

bored.

but unfortunately boredom doesn't provide much inspiration for relieving boredom, not least because doing nothing is most likely to espouse a tendency to remain inactive, or as stated by Newton's first/second/third/whatever law:

Things in a state of rest or motion remain to be so until acted upon by an external force

or in other words.....

the more you sleep, the more you sleep.
- Yeo, 2008

ahhh.
Daily Expulsion of Mental Bullshit over and done with!

now time to hit the toilet for some physical excretion rofl.

வ்த்ப் இஸ் கோயன் ஆன் வித் பிளாக்கர்?!?!?!

2008-12-27T01:29:00.001+08:00

okay i have no idea why my title suddenly spat itself out in tamil.
actually,
there are a lot of other things i have no idea about.

like why despite not having written a single post, my blog hits doubled from 80 to 160 in a week.

or why my tagboard has magically transformed itself into a gay sex hookup network

back from mission,

comments reserved ahahaha.

maybe i'll blog about it another day when i have more bullshit lol.
today was Official Post-Mission-Trip Rest Day

cum Boxing day

by the way has anyone wondered why the day after Christmas is called boxing day?
it has nothing to do with the brawls that occur after/during/before drunken christmas parties

boxing day is the day everyone throws away the boxes in which christmas presents come in.

speaking of which, this year i have shit for christmas presents
anyone willing to change that?

oh ya
and today also happens to be Post-Ton-Recovery-Day

ironic how missing out on barely 6 hours of sleep for one day requires you to spend the remaining 18 hours in a state of semi-consciousness and delirium to make up for it.

and finally, to churchies:

We regretfully announce that the production date for Brokeback Mountain 3 has been postponed to a later date, currently projected to be 27th December, 2088.

imsleepydamnitbye!

my december.

2008-12-20T13:29:00.000+08:00

okay firstly, hello!

and secondly,
goodbye.

in a couple of hours time i'll be in malaysia for 6 days!
cut out from the outside world, no internet, no phone
(unless i'm keen on bankrupting my dad)
and stuck with a semi-psychotic bunch!

ahahaha.

okay if you're reading this and happen to belong to the afore-mentioned group, please pretend you didn't see this and continue treating me like a civilized person throughout the mission-

even if you feel like ripping out my balls lol.
ANYWAY!

spending christmas overseas for the first time lol.
and and and and and
and and and and
and and and
and and
and

fuck i'm trying to think of something funny to say
but there's really nothing funny about missing you for six whole days, and not being able to spend christmas tgt.

ugh.

look if you read this while i'm away i hope you don't feel too bad missing me, because the feeling's mutual.
x)

OKAY POST DEPARTURE EMO-ING IS OFFICIALLY OVER!
its time to go.

(but first)
time to enjoy my last zinger in a week!
and pit my brains against my (weirdass) brother in an epic showdown of

TAITIIIIII

get your diapers ready.

2008-12-19T00:31:00.001+08:00

UPCOMING BLOCKBUSTER OF THE YEAR:

A LIST CAST INCLUDES

ONG XUAN
starring as ~~herself~~
VISION FARM PONTIANAK

TONY ANG AND RAYMOND CHAN
as Brokeback Mountaineers 1 and 2, respectively.

SOPHIA KOH
as Towel-Puller

video produced by the only guy too lousy to act.

in commemoration of Self Declared Schizophrenia Day.....

2008-12-17T12:31:00.000+08:00

sigh.

a hungry man is an angry man

i need to eat i want to eat but food is right in front of me and i'm not eating it

why does fart stink?

OH SHIT LAWIS DISCOVERED MY BLOG THUS ENDS THE ERA OF MY BLOG BEING PG-13

WELCOME TO THE WONDERFUL R21 WORLD OF gaysexjames

sigh mission practice later
feeling lazy

i don't want to go all i want to do is lie down here and think of nothing but

Gas Masks for Goal Posts

and speaking of limericks:

"I've got my hands in my pants, and my penis in my hands"
- Lu and Lim, 2006.

IF YOU READ THIS COME BACK FROM AUSTRALIA YOU gayFAG

ah f- i hate school.

not that school's even started yet, but who says you can't hate school in december as well as january?

MY HIGHEST ACADEMIC EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATION IS A PSLE OF 272 WHOO
gigolo need o'level cert or not?

GIGOLOL

argh i don't feel like going for mission
no wait actually i do, i just don't think it'll be fun-

SHUT UP WTF ARE YOU SAYING YOU F-ING PAID FOR IT AND YOU WANTED TO GO SO KISS MY ASS AND STUFF YOUR MOUTH DICKHEAD

but i'm lazy-

SHUT UP.
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUTS UP SHUT UP SHUTTUS SITS TS SHUTS UPS SITTIS UP SHUT

ah forget i'll just lie here instead;

with my hands in my pants and my penis in my hands.

LOL NO WAY I'M JUST KIDDING.

Disclaimer:
The abovepublished statement may in no way be constituted to represent a declaration or indication of the author's insanity, immorality, or just plain homosexuality. Any content above WAS NOT INSPIRED IN ANY MANNER BY JAMES KWONG KAM YIN.There is no treasure buried here.

okay time to return to planet Earth i got to go for mission training!

ta.

highlight of the holidays

2008-12-16T19:29:00.000+08:00

if there's one reason to be condemned to a month of idle and indolent unoccupation, this is it.

my past few days have been spent on the couch of the living room.
Hell, even inmates of Changi Prison/Woodbridge Happy Hostel Sanitorium have more living space than i do.

timetable for the day:
11am- wake up, read newspapers on the sofa.
1pm- lunch at the table, on the sofa
4pm- old grandmother tv drama serials on the sofa
8pm- more tv, where else?
ON THE BLOODY SOFA
3am- sleep.

what do i do in between?
com using, or reading ON THE SOFA

but i'm not despairing.
why?

BECAUSE I HAVE A BRAND NEW BAG A WONDERFUL WALLET A SUPERB SHIRT AND ONE
SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIOCIOUS
PRETTY PHOEBE

(and i discovered the secret wonderful world of shopping, shhh don't tell anyone i'm gay)

okay i'm way too high gotta take a bath and recover some sanity ahh

Labels for these post: e.g. scooters, vacations, fall...

2008-12-15T02:03:00.000+08:00

OR HOW TO WASTE A LIFETIME AWAY

congratulations!
apparently i seem to have a readership consisting of more people than myself, because my blog counter has jumped from 9...

TO 15 WHOO!

or maybe that was just me visiting my own blog to see whether the counter moved-.-

ANYWAY!
having made it this far to Post Number Two, i simply have to congratulate myself for having such PERSEVERANCE and DETERMINATION and INSPIRATION and most of all

the boredom to waste my life typing away at a blog with what, 4 readers at most?

---
WTF BLOGGING MOBILE IS DAMN SCARY
I MASH AWAY AT MY PUNY KEYPAD SQUINTING MY EYES AND GUESS WHAT?

my phone becomes Unable to contact Blogger.com. Saving and Publishing may fail. Should network problems persist, please check your internet connection, access point settings, or weep, piss on the floor and cry for all the typing you just wasted.

what else did I have to say?
OH YES

Essay Number Two from Mark Yeo
on
The Futility Of Life Spent Without Proper Preoccupation

or How I Spent My Holidays -.-

there isn't a better time in the entire life of secondary school than the period after sec 4 exams,
believe you me.
(but there was SUPPOSED to be one)

and what is it?

The HOLIDAYS after the period after sec 4 exams!
my to-do list for these two months of leisure:
get a job
brush up on guitar
...get a job
gym, bulk up, and improve rugby
......get a job
spend plenty of quality time with
.........get a job
play dota
............GET A JOB

and with 2 weeks left of free holidays left,
presenting...
My Accomplishments Of Holiday Life So Far

play dota

WTF LA NO MONTH MAKES ME FEEL A BIGGER LOSER THAN NOVEMBER.

wait.
one does.
what's it?

F-ING DECEMBER

is that............................................................................................... a blog?

2008-12-13T01:37:00.001+08:00

Ah.

I'M BLOGGING AGAIN, AND IT FEELS SO GOOD OHHHHH YEAAA............. right.

blogging officially occupies the bottom third spot of my Things To Do Before I Die Of Boredom list, the above two slots proudly belonging to:

A: POKEMON! ->

B: Go Figure.

But if blogging is this boring, why the hell am i still sitting at my com at 2.04 AM typing away at a blog nobody reads?

Good question.

( crap now this is really wonderful i'm not even past my first post and already running dry of blogthought -.- )

For lack of more productive/reproductive content to use:

Why Do People Blog?

an essay by mark yeo

CHAPTER I

bore·dom (bôr'dəm, bōr'-) n. The condition of being bored;

BoredomBore"dom\, n. 1. The state of being bored, or pestered; a state of ennui. --Dickens.
2. The realm of bores; bores, collectively.
Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.

CHAPTER II

psy⋅cho⋅sis [sahy-koh-sis]

noun, plural -ses

1.
a mental disorder characterized by symptoms, such as delusions or hallucinations, that indicate impaired contact with reality.
2.
any severe form of mental disorder, as schizophrenia or paranoia.

n. pl. psy·cho·ses (-sēz) A severe mental disorder, with or without organic damage, characterized by derangement of personality and loss of contact with reality and causing deterioration of normal social functioning.

CHAPTER III

i⋅dle [ahyd-l]

adjective, i⋅dler, i⋅dlest, verb i⋅dled, i⋅dling, noun
–adjective
1.
not working or active; unemployed; doing nothing: idle workers.
2.
not spent or filled with activity: idle hours.
3.
not in use or operation; not kept busy: idle machinery.
4.
habitually doing nothing or avoiding work; lazy.
5.
of no real worth, importance, or significance: idle talk.
6.
having no basis or reason; baseless; groundless: idle fears.
7.
frivolous; vain: idle pleasures.
8.
meaningless; senseless: idle threats.
9.
futile; unavailing: idle rage. –verb (used without object)
10.
to pass time doing nothing.
11.
to move, loiter, or saunter aimlessly: to idle along the avenue.
12.
(of a machine, engine, or mechanism) to operate at a low speed, disengaged from the load.–verb (used with object)
13.
to pass (time) doing nothing (often fol. by away): to idle away the afternoon.
14.
to cause (a person) to be idle: The strike idled many workers.
15.
to cause (a machine, engine, or mechanism) to idle: I waited in the car while idling the engine. –noun
16.
the state or quality of being idle.
17.
the state of a machine, engine, or mechanism that is idling: a cold engine that stalls at idle.

18.

THE STATE OF A BLOGGER TYPING ABSOLUTELY NONSENSICAL BULLSHIT AT 2.30 AM INSTEAD OF SLEEPING ARGHHH